Hey mom,
I liked how you said "I'm honest". The reason I do that is because I need to hear from myself how...prideful, and impatient, and...everything else wrong with me. It's hard to change. It really is. I had a unique prayer the other night. I was just laying all of my frustrations out on the table. I was telling Heavenly Father exactly what was going through my mind. I wasn't leaving anything out. I've just been SO frustrated and short fused lately. Elder Christensen just wants to go out and work. He just charges ahead without really thinking first. I tell him and tell him and it's like it goes right over his head. So just the small things that he does frustrates me. I had a talk with him the other night. We've just got some stuff to work out.
The BIGGEST issue I have with him is that he interupts me when I'm talking...even when we're teaching people. It's like he has this "image" in his mind where he wants the lesson to go and he just goes for it. Sometimes I'm lucky to get a word in. He has to REALLY hold himself back when we talk to people. I can see the tension that he has when we actually do teach together. But...he even admits that we taught really well that time....imagine that. Geez.
Sorry this is kind of a venting e-mail. I've just been so frustrated and stuff lately. I'll let you know how it's going next week, and if I'm going to remain in Sonoma or not. This next Monday is the beginning of a new transfer. Holy cow time went by fast. I have a feeling that I'm going to stay here. We'll see though.
Our teaching pool is shrinking. We've dropped a lot of investigators. We've picked up some new ones though. I baptized Mary Swegan, and let me tell you...THAT was cool. I loved it. I took some pictures, I'll send them off next week.
Today after we get e-mails done, we're going to go to some bike trails and have some fun. I'll take a lot of pictures and record some stuff for you. I really can't wait to send you the pictures home. I know you're going to enjoy them. Especially the videos that I took of us stuffing the grapes in our mouths lol. I watch them a lot and they crack me up every time. Elder Christensen has another video of Elder Kent stuffing grapes in his mouth and I'm in the background just BUSTING up. I haven't laughed like that in a long time. I'll see if I can find a way to send that to you.
I also liked how you tried to tell me I have humility...I almost laughed. I recognize that I'm being prideful and I have to fix it. I just have no idea how. I've decided to put all of the pictures I have on my desk in a shoe box out of sight so I can focus on being a missionary and not get distracted. I want to see if it works or not.
This last week wasn't that productive. I mean we're talking to everyone. But we only taught 12 lessons this last week and our goal was 20. Our goal for new investigators last week was 7 and we only got.......1. Better than nothing I guess. Man I wish I wasn't so negative...I've always been like that. My glass has always been half empty. I'm REALLY trying to change it. I just don't know how. My work ethic out here is reflecting the work ethic I had when I was at checker. I'm just unmotivated and not wanting to do anything. That's another reason why I've been getting frustrated with my companion too. I'm just being stubborn and not wanting to work as hard as he does.
Anyway, I really don't have much more to write about. How about I end this e-mail on a happy note huh?
I just want you all to know that I will not be coming home until my two years are up. I'm going to stay out here and learn all I can, and change all I can. I know that being out here will prepare me to live a happy life and teach me things that I would never learn in any other way. I have grown a deeper love and appreciation for Heavenly Father and the Savior and what they have done for me. I know you've heard me say this before, but I LOVE the gospel. I LOVE the book of Mormon. and I LOVE my family. Being on my mission has made me realize how much I really do love what I left behind. The mission has taught me how to love.
I really enjoyed reading your e-mails. I can't wait to hear from you next week.
Much love,
